Master and Men
by solluxhasalisp
Summary: Dirk is the Supreme Master (S.M) of a new post apocalyptic world. Unlike the previous leader, his brother, Dave, Dirk was actually trying to make a difference in the awful world it had become over the Strider's reign. But what will happen when Jake English, Dirk's long time crush, is kidnapped by his own soldiers on his Brother's order, and is an apposer to the Supreme Master?
1. Chapter 1

**The lights in the sky are peculiar. They have this...weird color. It's a sort of red, but not quite. Maybe...yellow? No... It's a light orange, that's what it is. A light orange sky doesn't sound different; at least for a sunset. But it's the middle of the day. I think it's that color because the Supreme Master has a thing for orange. That's about the only thing we have in common. While I'm a poor commoner, he's a supreme ruler of all the worlds in every galaxy.**

Of course, he has no idea that I am not any normal commoner, and I would make sure he didn't until the day that I shoot my homemade bullets I made from old silverware in his heart and watched the malicious evil drain from his piercing eyes.

I turn away from the window, put my earbuds in my ears, flick my collar with my casual swagger, grabbing my firearms from my awesome pile of guns, along with my holster. Again, I think to myself, "Why do I ever wear this freaking holster?" They look awful with the shorts I usually wear. It makes me look like a complete prick. The only shorts that DO look good with it make me look like an italian stripper.

I stop looking at myself in the freaking mirror like a narcissist, and walk out into the jungle right outside my room on my 'monster island', looking around for monsters. I have had monsters jump out and break my leg while I wasn't paying attention many a time. I'll never make such a mistake again. Oh gog! Stupid! I'll jinx myself.

Just then, a bang sounded. Ha! A monster to fight. Good thing I was thinking of them, or I would be dead! I turn around pistols at the ready and all of a sudden I'm pinned to the ground by a net. Well. That wasn't what I expected. I try to struggle, but when I do, I'm stuck in the side with some kind of stick and a flash of blinding pain shoots up my body. I'd been electrocuted! The last thing I see before I'm out are the large boots of the Supreme Master's men...


	2. Chapter 2

**I watch the orange sky fade into a sort of yellow. My bro had had the sky changed on my birthday that I had become the Supreme Master. He had made it orange because he knew I had this thing for orange. Orange is boss. Just like Smuppets... Gog, I love Smuppets. Honestly, I don't know why I'm the Supreme Master, because it's Bro that has all the power. On the same birthday he had changed the sky in my honor, he also created my minions, which were slightly modified Smuppets.**

Which is pretty fucking awesome if you ask me.

I sit down at my throne, and turn on the screen I always kept in the same spot. Always on Jake English. I've had a crush on him ever since I accidentally put in the wrong coordinates in the screen and it came up on him. I pretty much know everything about him, while he only knows me as "Supreme Master." I'd love for him to know me as me. But then he'd know I was a creepy stalker guy and that would be anything BUT cool.

And I'm an Ironic Coolkid.

I'm Dirk fucking Strider.

Well, he knows that. He just doesn't know I'm the Supreme Master. We chat over Pesterchum, and he knows Dirk Strider, but hates the Supreme Master. I got the feeling he has a problem with athority figures. Speaking of Pesterchum...

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]  
TT: What's up Jake?  
GT: Oh Dirk! How's it going, with you old chap? I have some exciting news!  
TT: Really? Well my earholes are open to your incessant rambling. Be sure not to think of any naughty thoughts while you're typing. You might accidentally type your innermost fantasies.  
GT: Oh god damnit, Strider! You're making me think that on purpose! Now I'm afraid to type anything to you  
TT: Aren't you an adventurer? I thought you guys weren't afraid of anything.  
GT: What! No i'm not!  
TT: You just said you were. Did you lie?  
GT: No! I wasn't lying! I just said I didn't want to pester you while you were making me think all these nasty thoughts.  
TT: I just don't know. I'm torn between believing you, and logging off and bleating like a goat.  
GT: You SHOULD beli- Bleat like a goat?  
TT: Sure.  
GT: Oh. That's more of your ironies, correct?  
TT: Indeed. You had some exciting news?  
GT: Oh! I was being sarcastic, but I kind of lost it when I was talking to you. That happens a lot when I talk to you. I don't really talk to people. You know. With me living on a pretty much deserted island.  
TT: Alright. What's your sarcastic exciting news.  
GT: Well, I got up this morning, and I decided to go train and kill some monsters, right? So i walk outside, and all of a sudden, I'm being rolled up in a net! When I tried to get away, they freaking tasered me! It was the Supreme Master's men. Luckily for me, I'm able to message you, because my grandmother taught me to keep at least five computers on me at all times, like a sensible person.  
TT: ...  
GT: Dirk?  
TT: Fuck. I'm going to go fix this shit.  
TT: Here, talk to lil' hal  
TT: Sup?  
GT: Oh shit.

"BRO!" I scream! "GETCHER ASS DOWN HERE, YOU STUPID DIPSHIT!"


	3. Chapter 3

**GT: Oh shit.  
TT: You seem to be expressing feelings of frustration and annoyance. Am I that much of a hindrance to you?  
GT: I needed to talk to Mr. Strider, not you!  
TT: ...  
GT: Oh crap, I keep forgetting you actually have feelings  
GT: THAT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT  
TT: I understand. But I pretty much know exactly what "Mr. Strider" would say on pretty much any matter, so you may ask me.  
GT: ...I suppose it's better than nothing.  
GT: Really, I needed was a little help.  
GT: I'm in quite a predicament, as you could probably tell.  
GT: Well, i mean, if you read the beginning of the conversation.  
TT: I was on during the whole conversation.  
GT: Sorry...but that's a little weird. Why would Dirk keep you on when he's on?  
TT: He likes to let my program develop. I have a conscience, so when i'm turned off, it's like the human equivalent of sleeping.  
GT: Oh. So you're asleep all the time?  
TT: No. Dirk turns me on during his conversations and we talk a lot. That's the reason he created me.  
GT: So he could talk to you...? Isn't that just talking to yourself?  
TT: Not exactly. I have developed my own personality. Plus, I'm technically only 13.  
GT: ...  
GT: That's not weird.  
GT: Anyway, I kinda need some help?  
GT: So maybe you could?  
TT: I believe Dirk went to fix it. I can hear him talking to his bro about it.  
GT: Oh, well do you think you could tell him to be snappy about it?  
TT: sure thing.  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]**

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: Jake says to "be snappy"  
TT: Shut up  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]  
TT: I believe he's hurrying.  
TT: Or he's going as fast as he can.  
TT: His Bro is awesome and epically ironic, but he can be a real prick.  
GT: So how long does he think it will take?  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: How long are you going to talk to the king of douche canoeary?  
TT: Shut up.  
TT: I will turn you off, I swear to God  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]  
TT: He doesn't know.  
GT: Oh... well could you connect him to me?  
TT: If I do, he will turn me off.  
TT: I'm going to go read some Pony Pals.  
TT: Good bye.  
TT: Dirk is doing all he can.  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

While I think to myself that I hope Dirk hurries, I look for any means of escape, and fail. What could Dirk be doing? 


	4. Chapter 4

**"What's up, little bro?" Bro says as he walks in from the other room. He had most likely been drawing crappy comics for his boyfriend, John. God, that boy laughs at everything.  
"What's up? WHAT'S UP?" I glare at him behind my ironic pointed anime shades.  
"You had Jake KIDNAPPED!?" I don't usually lose my cool, but at the moment, I'm totally flipping my shit.  
"What's the big deal?" He says with a prickish smirk "You wanted him, practically stalked him, so I got him for you. I have no idea why you're so angry, or why YOU didn't do it."  
I get up so quickly, he has no time to react. I punch him square in the face and revel at the crunch his nose makes when I break it, and watch with a sick satisfaction as the blood seeps from his nose and into his shirt, staining the already red shirt a darker shade.  
"Jake is my friend. He isn't something that can just be collected."**

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: Jake says to "be snappy"  
TT: Shut up  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

"Stop those Plush Rumped minions at once!" I scream with a sense of irony. Just for good measure, I add a goat bleat at the end.  
He's slightly bent over, and his hand is covering his nose, but he laughs all the same.  
"It's too late. They're almost here, and there's no stopping them now. You know that."  
I'm shaking, my fists clenched and itching to punch him again.  
"You've made it your lifetime goal to ruin any good aspect in my life that doesn't include responsibility, haven't you?"

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: How long are you going to talk to the king of douche canoeary?  
TT: Shut up.  
TT: I will turn you off, I swear to God  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

He turns around to face the door that he came through with a smirk on his face, and waves his free hand in my general direction.  
"You know it."  
As he leaves the room, a sense of dread spreads through my entire body like ice. All I can do is sit and wait to see how Jake will react to who I am. 


	5. Chapter 5

**I can't see anything because when I was passed out from the taser, they had stuffed me into a bag. Ironically enough, as Dirk would say, they didn't take anything from me. Not even my guns that were really obviously in my hands. They just threw them in the bad with me. I supposed this wouldn't be so bad, if they were taking me to the S.M. This could finally be my chance to rid the universes of him.  
My hatred of the S.M started when my grandmother was killed by the workers. She was killed and our home was exploded. After it was exploded, I went down the path she usually took me to get to the old ruins we loved to explore. Although she was living with me on an island called "Monster Island," there was a tell tale mark on her. Three holes poked through her.**

At the time, I thought it was just a monster, but just a few years ago, I learned it was a monster the S.M keeps locked up for battles. She's called the Batterwitch. She has a trident that she uses to annihilate anyone she sees in her way. They keep her in the dungeon, and let her out to do their bidding.  
That's the reason I despise the S.M so much. No one knows his real name, but they know the D.S. I don't know what that is, but I'll find out. I WILL avenge my grandmother.


End file.
